Tips for getting WILD in the wild.
Sponsored by Camversity.com
Something about the great outdoors really gets your primal engine going, maybe it’s the serenity and disconnection from the real world or maybe it’s the quiet star filled black night. Having sex while out in the wild is on the top of everybody’s list, and you don’t have to be a Ecosexual to do so.
We put together a little list of things you probably should make sure to pack before leaving home…
Large Tent
… It goes without say, If you’re gonna pitch a tent, might as well make it count. You never want to be claustrophobic when going to bed, especially when it’s a shared one. When a tent says it’s for two people, it really means, “this tent is for two people who want to crawl into and crash for the night, and not make any further movements whatsoever.” You’ll need at least a 4 person tent to be anywhere near comfortable. A bigger tent is more of a pain for sure, but it’ll be worth it when you have the space to stretch out your limbs … if you catch my drift.
Wet Wipes
… it’s 2019, if these aren’t already in your bathroom, you better go to Costco and buy them in bulk for your trip. Very useful for around the campsite, during hikes, after you share a hole in the ground with a bear, but especially useful after some deep passionate intercourse under the stars. There are no showers, so harness your inner infancy and wipe away.
Soft Light
… Yes you’re going to want a very strong bright light when the sun sets and you’re in nature. But you’re going to hate when you’re looking for your water bottle at night in your tent and turn that said light on, and blind yourself or others. We highly recommend bringing a night light or soft light lantern, specifically for when you’re going to be in your tent at night.
Venture Out
… Put in the extra effort … and find that ‘perfect spot’ … Tents provide zero soundproofing, so you’ll want to make sure you set up in a private location. Unfortunately, many popular campsites can be quite crowded in the summer months. If you’re hiking into your campsite, spend a little extra time trying to find a secluded nook. If you’re driving, try going off-road to the campsite not directly adjacent to the stalls or water reservoir. At the very least, please don’t camp and get in on around families with children! Camping is a time to learn about the literal birds and bees, not the ones your mommy talked to you about.
Pestering Neighbors
… Bugs are probably #1 on the list of what can ruin your better moments at the campsite. They are merciless, and will bite any bit of exposed skin. Using bug spray on your nether regions is a definite no no, which makes you extra vulnerable (in fact, it’s also a good idea to use those wet wipes, we also suggested, to clean off any bug spray off your body before having sex, since you don’t want any trace of those chemicals getting on your genitals). If it seems like you’re in a bug-heavy area, or if you’re near water during a mosquito-friendly season, do yourselves a favor and stay inside the tent. Do a quick sweep with a flashlight to make sure there aren’t any stray bugs zipped up with you — and don’t forget to check for ticks after!
NOW GO DO IT LIKE THEY DO IT ON THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL!
